Never Let Me Go
by FriendLey
Summary: What if Derek wasn't paged during the make out session he & Meredith had during the 1st ep of the 7th season? Could he have noticed Meredith's hesitation of his statement "Let's make a baby"? Will this prompt Meredith to tell him of the miscarriage? R


**A/N: This is what I thought would have happened if Derek didn't get paged on season seven's first episode. If he didn't get paged Meredith could've told him about the miscarriage during their session in the OC room.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.  
**

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Meredith Grey kissed her husband once more. She wanted to tell him about her miscarriage and when she opened her mouth to do so she babbled on on how great he was during his Cut the Patient's Face Into Two Surgery.

Derek smiled and gazed deeply at his wife. "Let's make a baby." He said and she couldn't help but stop moving, appalled.

"What?" Meredith asked.

Derek ignored her confusion and took his shirt off. He found his wife staring at the suture trail he had of his heart surgery on his chest. He knew Meredith would have to take a little getting used to it since he planned to be taking his shirt off more often when the two of them are alone. But Meredith's expression, though, wasn't of disgust of pity which was what intrigued Derek. Rather what he saw was fright written across her face. It might have brought back fatal memories of the incident but she's going to have to move on.

_I'll help her to, _Derek thought. He brought his hand to her cheek but she pulled away. "Let's make a baby." he repeated. he brought her close to him and she hesitated. He kissed her some more running his hand through her hair. Then, his hands found her shirt and tugged on them.

Meredith knew this was leading to something different. She was supposed to just tell him. Was it this hard? If they make a baby now she could...

Meredith shook her head, pulling away. "Stop. Stop it. Please, Derek." She felt tears starting to come but she fought it back.

"Mer, what's wrong?" He took her hands and she let him.

"Please, Derek. You have got to stop. The-the speeding, the adrenaline. You could kill someone! It's reckless driving! No, wait, what did the police say? _Reckless endangerment_! You could drive so fast that everything would seem to be a blur to you and what you think was plastic was person and you ran over the person! Or a deer! Do you remember the last time a deer became a patient? Yeah! Or yourself! Do you want to die? Is that it? You could be driving so fast that you'd think that a pole was inches away in fact you're actually driving into it! Do you want me to lost another part of me again? I don't! I can't handle that. Not again."Finally, she breathed.

_Telling him could've gone better, Meredith_. She said to herself.

"This is about the driving?" Derek sighed in relief."I thought you were freaking out about us having a baby. Wait, what do you mean lose a part-when?"

Meredith's voice broke when she said, "I had a miscarriage."

Derek felt his throat go dry.

"I didn't tell you. I kept it a secret."

His voice came like a whisper. "Does anybody else know?"

"April, Cristina and Owen know. But I told Cristina to tell them to keep it a secret."

"When?" His voice became hoarse now.

"During the shooting." She avoided eye contact. "I lost our baby, Derek." She stared at her fingers, then after a few seconds looked at her husband. "I don't want to lose you too. Don't make me lose you too."

For a moment Derek stood speechless and when he started to speak Meredith thought his might be angry at her for not telling but he wasn't. "Thank you...for telling me." Then, he hugged her as tight as he could and Meredith hugged him back just as tight.

"I'm sorry about our baby." She told him.

"I'm sorry too...about the driving thing. I promise I'll stop. Don't worry. I'll find something else to give me the adrenaline. Ooh, maybe sex." He kidded and they laughed. It was as if they were trying to say 'Never let me go.'

For minutes they stayed hugging. And for them...

For them that was enough.

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**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!**


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